Mental Freak Out
by luvsbitca
Summary: Clark watches Chloe reach her breaking point, sequel to 'Breaking Point'


Author Notes: I apologise for this now. The swearing has it's place considering the situation. This is a sequel to 'Breaking Point, and I've only seen as far as bug boy coz I'm Australian, so please excuse any  
  
inaccuracies, and the different spelling.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing and the reference to 'Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman' is intentional, that for me was a really memorable scene.  
  
Mental Freak Out By Moonbeam  
  
Work was taking forever, I'm sweaty and yucky, and want a shower and half a cow. I'm hungry, I'm always hungry, I'm a growing boy, I'm a growing boy with an odd metabolism and I never gain weight for all the food I eat, I wonder why that is. Even better wonder if it works if I only eat junk food, I'll have to try that out when mum isn't looking. Dad finishes the final nail and we can finally go in, my brain's doing a happy dance, I'm hungry. We put everything in the shed, I see Chloe's dad's truck, she's here, I wonder why, oh the assignment, I was supposed to do the assignment, we said, I look at my watch, damn I'm late, I'm always late. She'll understand, I think she expects it, she's with mum, they'll be fine, I should hurry though.  
  
I walk through the door, she's staring, why is she staring, she has a really odd look on her face. Suddenly I'm worried, she was looking at me like I'm an alien, I am an alien. She must know, she knows, and she hates me, she'd gonna put me on her wall and I will be the central link to all the other mysteries, they'll lock me up in a room with that rock and I'll die weak and sad and oh my god. I think I stopped breathing. In, out, in, out. Oh crap, I'm gonna lose my best friend cause I'm an alien with a spaceship that looks like a bug. Now I'm hyperventilating, that's better at least I'm breathing, oh crap. She looked down, almost embarrassed, I've never seen her embarrassed, she definitely knows. She looks like she's gonna kill the cup, wonder if she thinks it's me, I'm lost I don't know what to do, she.I look at mum briefly to see if she's been like this the whole time, one look says no. It's definitely me then, mum calls her, asks what's wrong, she doesn't respond but she looks at me, that same look only sadder, I think something just broke, I've never felt this bad before. God how I wish I could read her mind, why couldn't that be one of his powers, it would come in handy now. I need to do something, I walk over, if she freaks out more, I'll know. Please don't freak out. I stop and reach out for her shoulder, contact. Screaming, she's screaming, it is me, dammit, I just lost my best friend, crap. I hear dad exclaim when she starts yelling, is she ever gonna stop, suddenly my hand is in air, her shoulders gone, she'd gone. I look at my parents, turn, run, through the door, through the yard, over the field, through the fence, over the hill, down the path, across the river and there she is on her rock.  
  
I forgot about my super speed, but she's here, her favourite thinking place, flat rock, I prefer Chloe's rock. I stand there five meters from her unsure, do I dare reach out, to I face the aching feeling flowing through my chest when she rejects me again. When she runs. I stand there and watch her, and she watches me. I'm worried, if she knows fine, I'll make it better, if she'll just let me back in. Did she just growl, she growled, maybe she's been taken over by some 'wall of weird' creature, maybe she doesn't know, please let her not know. I'm scared now, scared that I've just lost one of the most important relationships of my life. She's staring again, for a second I wonder if I have something on my face, but that wouldn't make her run and scream. If it were some alien deformity then mom or dad would have said something. She looks disbelieving, she is wondering if it's true, if I'm the insane monster that runs around infecting people with my alien mojo. I wish I could read minds. Maybe her head hurts, she's rubbing it, maybe she's fighting the alien mojo that has her, how do I save her, can I save her from myself. Can I take away the memory of her finding out if it hurts her this bad, I'd do anything to help her, she's gonna cry, I've never seen her cry, I've heard her but she never cries in front of us, not even when she was little. I watch as she bolts again, why can't I stop her, why can't I move, what's wrong with me? My legs are working, I follow her, super speed at first, I slow down when I can see her, I'll watch I don't want to hurt her anymore. Back across the river, down a new path, through a field, through her gate, I stop before I enter her house.  
  
I pause for barely a nanosecond then I follow silently. She's going to the bathroom, her haven, she loves showers, always has, only person I know who didn't have to fight her parents about how much they showered. Her dad's not home, good, this will be easier. I follow her up the stairs, down the hall and see her step into the bathroom. I stop I can't go in there, showers are her fortress of solitude. I turn my x-ray on and look in; she jumped straight into the shower, no changing, just water. I pause still, then I open the door, I hear her crying and my heart breaks that little bit more to know that I caused that. I step in and move towards the glass door keeping us apart. I pause again, the I reach forward and open it, I can't speak, then she laughs, manic, unhappy, sad, laughter, she clutches her stomach with the pain of that laughter. I wonder what is left in my chest to break. Then she turns and stares at me, disbelieving, I'm not a voyuerer and yet I'm watching her in the shower. I move towards her, I want to comfort her, she cowers. I want to leave, but I can't, I hate the fear I know she feels. She looks down and I gesture with my hand that I am open for a hug. She looks up and just stares and the vulnerability in her eyes makes me want to hurt anyone that every made or makes her cry. I see silent acceptance, I move forward enveloping her in my arms holding her so close, her life seems to depend on it, I make sure not to hurt her. God she seems so weak, so unlike herself, the one she presents. If she's weak I'll protect her, above anything I want to protect her, I want to make her safe and invulnerable. I wish I could give her that ability. Her cries increase and I focus everything on her and showing her I'm there for her. The sobs that convulse throughout her body and cascade into mine are ripping their way through my chest. I need to help her; I need her to be all right. What does she need? The way her nails are digging into my skin I know that this second she needs me not to move, not to ask. Just to hold. I tighten my grasp and can almost feel her say thank you. She doesn't need to; I'd do anything to make her all right, anything. She's nice to hug, small and soft. I should hug her move often.  
  
I feel somehow as if I saved her from something, not the outside somethings' that I fear hurting her, but something inside, something I caused. I don't want to hurt her again, but one day she'll discover the truth. That'll hurt her. I hate being able to hurt her.  
  
The End 


End file.
